


Even Happiness Doesn't Last

by Kiseki_Kurusu



Category: Splatoon
Genre: Army is depressed, Depression, Loneliness, M/M, Self-Harm, Sleep Deprivation, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-23 11:32:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19700503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiseki_Kurusu/pseuds/Kiseki_Kurusu
Summary: Army is a member of the S4 and the leader of the Orange Team. Unknown to everybody, he suffers from a bad depression. He has feelings for Aloha. He's not sure if he will be able to confess to him.Entire Story is in Army's POV.





	1. My Feelings

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Doki Doki! Rainclouds OST (Spoiler if you have not played it)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/496219) by CykaDev. 
  * Inspired by [DDLC Exit Music OST (Spoiler if you have not played it)](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/499198) by Oliver Norton. 



I woke up in the middle of the night. I looked at the time. _3:40 AM_. Damn it, I can't sleep. I stayed up throughout the night and I must have fell asleep. Every night, I can't sleep. Even if I did, I wake up in the middle of the night. I sigh and look out the window as I stood up. The light from the moon is peaceful. I wish I could get peace...but I never do and I don't think I will. I sighed as I began to think. I have not told anyone this. I have severe depression.

I suffer from this throughout my entire life and I have not told anyone about this. Even if I did, it would not be right to me. I snuggled in the covers of my bed more as I began to feel tears in my eyes. I just want my depression to go away entirely, but it won't. It feels horrible. It makes me wonder what have I done that was so bad. "What...did I ever do wrong...?" I asked to myself quietly. I shut my eyes as I cried myself to sleep.

* * *

I woke up again for the day. I looked at the time. _7:30 AM_. I groaned. "Time to get out of bed..." I quietly mumbled and got out of bed. I stopped as I walked past a mirror. I had bags under my eyes. "Well, that's gonna be noticeable..." I quietly mumbled. I knew I had to get ready for the day. I put on my standard white collared shirt. I then tied my black tie on it. I grab my Punk Cherries shoes and slipped them on my feet. Once after that, I grabbed my Forge Inkling Parka and put it on. I notice my beret on the table where the lamp rested at and placed it on my head. To be honest, I don't want to leave. I just want to stay in my bed I use for comfort. I grabbed my manual and placed it in my pocket. I sighed and left to go do my morning routine.

The moment I left my house and walked down a few steps down the street, I was greeted by Goggles. "Hi, Army!" He grinned. I flinched from the sudden scare. "Oh...hey, Goggles." I greeted back in return. Goggles noticed the bags under my eyes. "Army, you didn't get any sleep last night?" Goggles asked to me, concerned. Oh shoot. "Um..." I stuttered. ' _Come on! Answer him!_ ' I yelled at myself in my head. "I may have not got enough sleep..." I replied as I began to laugh nervously. ' _Are you dumb?! Did you literally told him?!_ ' I yelled at myself in my head again. Goggles made a look of concern. "Army, you should have got sleep!" Goggles scolded at me. He's right, but I can't help it. It's my depression. I can't stop it no matter how many times I try to. "Right.. Sorry that I worried you." I replied to the concerned blue Inkling. Gogglss sighed. "Anyway, your team is waiting for you!" Goggles said. I snapped back into the reality the moment he said that. "Oh crap! Thanks, Goggles!" I said before running off. I heard a faint 'You're welcome!' from him.

When I arrived, my team (The Orange Team) came up to me concerned. "Are you alright, Army?" B-Sailor asked to me. I nodded. "Yes, B-Sailor, I'm fine." I replied. Worthless lies I'm making. I know I can't lie forever, but I can't let them know about my depression. "Are you sure?" Forge Octarian Jacket asked to me. "Yes, I'm fine." I replied as I forced a weak smile on my face. All I'm doing is nothing but fake. "Well, let's start training." W-Sailor said. I nodded. "Alright, let's go!" I said.

* * *

Training went pretty decent as I thought. I made curry and we ate it. Of course Goggles came in naked and he was scolded by Glasses as a result. Headphones and Bobble was laughing about it. I even saw Aloha. Aloha...I couldn't stop thinking about that party animal. I love him. I indeed have a crush on him. But I'm scared that he won't like me back in return. But Goggles came in again and made me spill some of my curry on myself. I scolded him as a result but I couldn't hold my laughter in. It was pretty funny if you ask me. Once we all went home, I was glad I'm lonely. To be honest, I actually want to be alone. I was feeling an urge of tears. I ran home as my vision got blurry. Once I got in, I cried out loud. "You're worthless!" I screamed to myself and ran upstairs to my room. i removed my parka as I looked through my drawers. Now where is it...? Ah, here...

I pull out a small knife. I went into the bathroom and locked myself in it. I cried even more. "You're worthless...you are nothing!" I screamed to myself again as I held out my left arm and began making cuts on it. I cried out in pain but it didn't matter. As I cried in pain, I felt the pain in my heart going away. I sighed. I looked to see that I made 5 cuts on my left arm. I sighed. I knew that I have to cover it. I put bandages on it. I sighed.

What the hell was I thinking...? I literally made cuts on my left arm! I hugged my knees as I cried. "Just...why...?" I mumbled quietly through my crying.

* * *

I woke up. Did I fall asleep in the bathroom? Damn...

I left the bathroom and got in my covers once I placed my nightwear on. I hope the next day won't go bad. I sighed. I know it will anyway. It doesn't matter. I just hope that I can get sleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to see Army show his sweet side to Aloha. :3


	2. Wake

I woke up early again. I looked at the time. _12:00 AM_. Midnight? Shoot. I can't sleep. I know I can't. I sighed. I didn't want to concern my team and everyone else just like how I concerned Goggles and my team yesterday. I really need sleep. But I can't help it...

I sighed and looked at my left arm again. I literally self-harmed on it. I began to tears blur my vision. I really shouldn't have done that. I feel like if someone notices the bandages, they would be concerned. But worst of all, my depression could be revealed, thus it will change my life forever. I don't want that. Then again, my life could change forever at that point. So unfortunately, I can't stop it. I began to cry silently, thinking of how my life could be like once it does reach that point. The changing point.

* * *

I woke up for the day. It's always gonna be an endless cycle. Again, I noticed bags under my eyes. But I didn't care. I know that somebody is gonna notice. Once I got ready for the day, I walked out of my house. As I was walking down the street, I felt someone tackle me to the ground. "Aargh!" I yelled, only to see...Aloha? "Good morning, Army!" He said as he laughed at my reaction. I grumbled quietly. "Yeah, yeah...good morning to you too." I said to him. "Still your old usual self I see!" Aloha said to me. I grumbled again. Yeah...my old usual self...

I nodded quietly. "Yeah, yeah...can you please get off of me?" I asked politely. He nodded and got off of me. I looked at the party animal. He's just...too cute.

"Anyway! I was hoping to ask you something actually!" Aloha said to me. I flinched. He's about to ask me something...? I wonder what. "And that is?" I replied. He gave me a big smile. "I was wondering if you would want to go to the cafe with me!" I was taken aback from it. "Mainly because I hate being alone and it sucks being alone! So...will you go with me?" He asked as he began to blush pink out of embarrassment. Why does he want a worthless depressed boy like me to go with him? I don't deserve to go with anybody. I don't deserve care. I deserve nothing other than pain and suffering. But I know I can't hurt his feelings. "Yeah. Sure." I replied, accepting to go with him. Aloha gave me another big smile. "Yay! We'll go at 6:30 PM! See ya!" And with that, Aloha ran off out of happiness. I gave a forced smile. Yeah...I'll see him later...

I went to go train with my team. I hope they won't grow concern on me again.

* * *

The training went decent again. Except the fact I couldn't concentrate. I ended up accidentally attacking W-Sailor. I was yelled at by her because of that. But to be honest, I don't mind anyone yelling at me. I deserve it. Like I said, I don't deserve love. I don't deserve anything. I looked at the time. _6:25 PM_. Might as well head out in order to meet Aloha at the cafe. Once I arrived, I waited for the pink party animal. After 6 minutes, Aloha arrived. "Hey, Army!" He greeted to me. I nodded as a greeting to him. Aloha sat right next to me. Aloha immediately smiled at me. "So how was your day?" He asked to me. My day? It has been very horrible. But I can't tell him. If I did, my secret would probably be exposed.

I knew that I have to lie again.

"My day has been well." I replied. Worthless lies...again. "That's good!" Aloha replied. I sighed as we continued to talk.

* * *

Once I got back to my house, I immediately got in my nightwead and got in the covers. I just want this day to end. I felt tears coming into my eyes. I'm worthless. At the cafe, I told Aloha a bunch of lies. That way my depression secret would be hidden. I don't want people to care about me. I cried silently. "Just...why..." I mumbled through my crying.

I fell asleep, waiting for the next horrible day to come.


	3. Alone and Forsaken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna focus on Army only. There will be mentions of Aloha though.

The day started out okay. I finally got sleep. But I know that it won't last long. Once I got ready for the day, I noticed that it is raining. Knowing us Inklings, we are weak to water. I sighed and sat down in the living room as I listened to the sky crying. As I continued to sit, time passed on. I looked at my left arm again. I rolled up the sleeve of my parka to remove my bandages. The cuts were still visible. I began to feel my vision blurry. Am I about to cry again? I don't want to right now. I don't want any crying happening to me right now. Tears began to fall down my face and onto my arm. I don't know why I decided to cut my left arm. "I'm such a failure...I'm nothing..." I said to myself out loud. I realized what I said. "W-What...?" I mumbled and looked around, hoping that no one heard it. Even though there was no one in my house with me particularly and sort of no one in the streets, even walls have ears.

I stared at the rain. I want to walk out there but that would grow concern from everyone. "Why do I feel that I'm worthless...?" I said quietly as I stared. I tried to hold back my tears even more, but I couldn't. Why won't my body let me hold it in?! Every time I tried to hold my sadness in, it doesn't work! No matter how hard I try, my sadness comes out anyway. It only happens when I'm alone though. I cried anyway, feeling uneasiness coming into my body. "Why...WHY?!" I yelled before grabbing the nearby small knife and making an additional exact 8 cuts on my left arm again. "A-AARGH!" I yelled. I looked at the cuts to see that it is quickly losing blood. A lot to be precise. Did I...cut too deep...? "Oh my god...OH MY GOD!" I yelled, feeling angry at myself. What the hell have I done?! I just cut my left arm...AGAIN!

"What is wrong with me?!" I yelled, feeling even more anger at myself. Why am I like this?! I looked at the ceiling as I begin to scream. "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO BE LIKE THIS?! WHY ME?! WHY ME AND ME ONLY?!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs, not caring if I lose my voice or not. "WHY ME?! WHY?! **WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!** " I began crying at the top of my lungs. At this point, I don't care what I'm doing anymore. It feels like I can't even control my actions. Suddenly, I stopped as I came to realization. First thing, my arm is still bleeding and throbbing with pain. Second thing, I was screaming like a crazy maniac at the top of my lungs. I hope no one heard me. If they did, my secret will be exposed and I don't want that. Suddenly, something came into my head that makes my heart skip a beat.

 _Aloha_.

I wonder how he will react when he finds out that I have depression. I wonder how everyone else will react. I can picture it and their reactions is not good. I began to feel tears in my eyes again. Thinking of Aloha calms me down only a little. I wrapped the recent cuts with bandages once I cleaned it. I sighed and stared at the wall. What the hell was I thinking of cutting my left arm. That's not like me. I know it isn't. But I can't control it. Just...somebody...tell me why I'm like this. This isn't me. I know it's not me. I began to cry silently as I lied on the couch while holding onto a pillow.

* * *

I kept thinking about Aloha. Aloha is somebody you will love to party around with since he is a party animal. I shivered when something came into my head. I began to imagine how he will react when he finds out I have depression. I imagined different types of reactions he might have on me.

* * *

_**"Wow, you had depression? And you kept it away from me all this time? You're not my friend anymore."** _

_**"Army, how could you hide this from me?! That's it! Get out of my sight and don't come near me ever again!"** _

_**"No one will love a depressed boy like you. I wouldn't want to date somebody that hid his depression all this time."** _

_**"You are nothing but a mistake. Get out of my life."** _

_**"Leave. Leave, leave, leave, leave, LEAVE!!!"** _

* * *

I screamed at the last imagination. I began to cry harshly. If he ever reacts like that, then he's right. Nobody would want me. In fact, no one wants me. And that's fine. I can live with it as long as no one knows that I'm depressed. I noticed that it is night time. How...? Did time go this quick...? Man...

I got into my night wear and got in the covers. Thinking about the imaginations I had if Aloha did found out about my depression...what if he doesn't react like that? Maybe he will help me? No...it wouldn't be the case. I sighed and felt slumber consume me.

* * *

_**"Hm...so you thought about me, yes? What a waste of time. You are better off this world anyway. Ahahahahahaha..."** _

* * *

I got up almost immediately. Was that a dream? Or did someone actually said that to me? Either way, they are right. Thinking about my problems is nothing but a waste of time. Or are they talking about something else...? I have no idea...I began to feel slumber consume me again. I just hope I won't hear that voice again.

Hopefully...

...


	4. Lonely Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same thing like Chapter 3.

I woke up from my failed sleep. I ended up waking up several times during the night. I had crazy imaginations how people would react if they do find out about my depression. None of them are good. None of them. And when I mean by none, I mean none. I grabbed a piece of paper and a black bold pen and wrote all the imaginations I had. 

  * **Glasses yelling at me, telling me to get the hell out of his sight**
  * **Rider punching me in the face.**
  * **Goggles giving me a stern face before telling me to leave him alone.**
  * **Mask and Skull telling me they will no longer be my friend.**
  * **Gloves telling me that I'm a mistake.**
  * **Emperor telling me that I'm worthless.**
  * **Aloha telling me he doesn't love me.**



I sighed as I stared at my list. It doesn't feel right staring at it. I left the paper on my desk as I stared out of the window. To be honest, I don't want to go out. If I really think that, then I guess it's best for me not to go out. "Hmm...I wonder what I can do today." I said. It's not like I have anything to do today. I left my room into the kitchen to get some breakfast. I decided to cook eggs and bacon. Because...why not. Once it finished cooking, I ate the food. After I finished, I stared at the wall blankly.

I kept wondering about the list I made. I know it wouldn't be like them...right? I don't want anything bad happening to me once my depression is revealed. To be honest, I don't want any help. But I recalled that I heard a voice last night. It sounded like Aloha, but I knew it wasn't him. I sighed and looked outside. The sky had dark clouds, as if it was about to use its rage against us. I felt something in my hand. Oh...it's the list I made. I looked at the last bullet.

  * **Aloha telling me he doesn't love me.**



This was literally one of my imaginations. I can remember it clearly. The imagination was me and Aloha under a cherry blossom tree in a sunny day. It's like we were a couple in my imagination. In it, I told him about my depression, hoping that his reaction will be filled with understanding and concern. But no, none of that happened. His pink eyes began to fill with anger. He then told me that he knew that something was wrong with me and he wanted to know why I didn't tell him. His voice was filled with anger. He then told me that it's over and that he never loved me, but only used me. I felt tears coming into my eyes in that imagination and Aloha taunted me for it, calling me bad names like 'orange stupid depressed boy' and 'worthless depressed Inkling'. He walked away after that. In my imagination, I sobbed terribly as the sunny day became a stormy day. I opened my eyes as I came back to reality. I looked outside to see that it is a stormy day. Oh well. I guess it's gonna be like yesterday. A lonely day.

Yes...just a lonely day.

I grabbed the small knife. Oh no...not again. I don't want to hurt myself anymore! But I can't resist...I just can't. I rolled up my sleeve of my right arm. "I'm...useless." I said. "T-That's all I'll ever be!" I made exactly 7 cuts on my right arm. I yelled in pain. I cut too deep...again. I saw the blood rush down my arm. Gods, this hurts so bad. Like how my left arm felt that pain. But to be honest, I don't care. I deserve this pain. I began crying softly. I need to fix this. Once I tended the cuts, I looked at the small knife. I had this for a long time. No one knew about it. not even my team or Aloha. The handle of the small knife is orange. I wrapped my arms around myself as my crying got louder. "Why am I like this?!" I yelled. Out of anger, I grab a nearby vase and threw it at the wall, causing a loud breaking sound. I need to get out of this miserable life. But I know I can't commit suicide. That would be bad as others will be affected by it. But I'm sure some people won't care to see me dead. I continued to cry as my crying fought against the sounds of thunder from the angry thunderstorm outside. It's like the thunderstorm is telling me that I'm worthless and that no one will be surprised when I die. It felt like the thunderstorm is telling me that I have no meaning in life and that I should have never came into people's lives. "I'm worthless...I'm nothing...I have no meaning in life!" I said as I cried. My crying got even more harder as sad thoughts rushed into my head in lightning speed. "I'm nothing! I'm useless!" I finally screamed out what I have always wanted. "I'M JUST SOME STUPID DEPRESSED INKLING THAT IS USELESS!!!" I succumbed to my crying.

* * *

I opened my eyes. Did I...fall asleep? "Ah, shoot...what time is it?" I mumbled through my awakening. I yawned and looked at the clock. _3:56 PM_. Crap, a lot of hours must have passed. I sighed and made lunch, which is obviously curry. As I ate, I looked at my right. It was just an empty chair. My heart skipped a beat when I started to have an imagination of me and Aloha eating together. It would be a dream come true but...

I shook my head as I continued eating.

* * *

It is night time. Well, it's 7:30 PM. I looked at the two things that was on my dresser. A bottle of pills and...I might get in trouble for this. I secretly hidden a bottle of pills and a wine bottle. I guess I'm actually going to do it...

I took a glass and poured some wine in it. I opened the bottle of pills and noticed it had 24 tablets in it. I took out 4 tablets. I sighed. Here we go...

I put the pills into my mouth and drink the wine from the glass. This feels...nice. I can finally go. No one will have to deal with me. I poured more wine into the glass and drink it. After 10 minutes of drinking, I'm drunk. "At least I can (hic) go from this miserable life..." I said, my sentence slurring. Suddenly, I heard knocking on my front door. I wonder who it could be. But I don't want to answer. I just want to drink more. I hear more knocking. I sighed. I guess whoever is knocking on the door won't leave me alone. I checked outside my window. Aloha...?

I walked down the stairs and walked to my front door. I sighed and opened the door...


	5. Army's Sadness

I walked down the stairs and walked to my front door. I sighed and opened the door. I saw Aloha filling my sight. "Aloha, what are you doing here?" I asked, my sentence slurring. Aloha looked at me as if he was filled with concern. Did Aloha hear me despairing out loud? He shouldn't have to come here. "Army, are you alright?" He asked to me as his voice was filled with concern. Why is he spending his time caring about me? I nodded, desperately trying to hide my depression and my drunkenness. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine..." I replied to him, my sentence still slurring. Aloha frowned as he noticed something not right about me. "Are you...drunk?" He asked to me. I shook my head. "No, no...I'm (hic) fine..." I said, my hiccup giving my drunkenness away. "Army, have you been drinking?" Aloha asked to me as he crossed his arms on his chest. "Your breath smells like wine." Ah, crap. He knows. "Y-Yeah...you (hic) got a p-problem with it?" I asked, my voice filling with determination to get Aloha away from me. I don't want him to save me. "Either way, can I come in? Please? I thought I heard shouting from here." Aloha said to me. No...

No!

I don't want him coming inside! I just want to die here! But...I can't hurt his feelings. I know I can't. But I know he will try to save me and I don't want that. I nodded. "Yeah, sure..." I said as my sentence slurred. I knew that I should drink more wine. That way it can kill me. " _I should drink more and take more of those pills..._ " I whispered quietly, hoping that Aloha won't hear me. Which he didn't. Thank the gods. We walked into my kitchen. "D-Do you (hic) want a-anything...?" I asked, hoping that it would change the subject. Aloha shook his head no. "No, I'm fine." Aloha replied to me. "I just want to see if you are alright. But I can see now that you are not." I was shocked from this. Does he literally know what is going on? "I-I'm fine!" I yelled. "I'm just...feeling tired...I'll go to my room." I begin walking up the stairs. Once I arrived in my room, I took out two more tablets and put them in my mouth. I took 6 tablets in total. 4 from before and 2 just now. I grabbed the wine bottle. Right before I can drink more, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Oh great. Aloha is still here. Can't he just leave so that way I can do my business? Aloha walked into my room. "So that is what you are drinking?" Aloha asked to me. Oh...crap.

He is looking at the wine bottle that is in my hands. "Come on, Army." Aloha said sternly. "Give me the wine bottle." He attempted to take it, but I shooed his hands away. "No way." I replied. "How about you leave me alone?" No! I didn't want to say that! Aloha was taken aback from my response. He tried again to take the wine bottle. But this time, I shoved him away, spilling parts of the wine as a result. "Go away!" I yelled, unable to control my actions. No...No! I didn't want to shove him away! Wait...I'm feeling mixed feelings right now. A part of me wants him to go away but the other part of me wants him to save me. But...

I drink the rest of the contents in the wine bottle before he can snatch it away. Aloha had a look of defeat. I sighed in relief as I lied down on my bed. "I never felt this good...in a while." I said quietly. I think I made Aloha feel uneasy when I said that. Aloha walked to me. "Are you sure you are feeling alright?" He asked to me. I nodded back. "Yeah...I'm fine...ehehehehehe..." I never laughed like that before. Maybe because I'm happy that I can finally leave the miserable life that I suffered throughout my entire life. I heard a sigh from Aloha as I started to drift off to sleep. During this, I dropped the empty wine bottle, causing it to break into pieces. I hope it's a sleep that I will never wake up from.

* * *

**_ "Do you think that you can escape from the life you are in? What a waste of time. You know that you can never escape from your pathetic life." _ **

* * *

I wanted to wake up the moment I heard that voice. But I don't want that to ruin my chance of leaving this life. I slowly started to feel something. No...No! I changed my mind! I began to feel death slowly embracing me bit by bit. Just then, I heard a gasp from Aloha. I don't know what he is horrified at as my eyes are still closed. Suddenly, I felt two hands grab my shoulders as I was pulled into a sitting position. "Army...Army, please get up!" I heard Aloha begging. I opened my eyes weakly. "H-Huh...?" I mumbled through my awakening. Suddenly, I felt something coming from my stomach. I broke away from his grip as I vomited on the floor. The liquid smelled bad. The color of the liquid was a deep wine color with a mix of white (A/N: I know, it's too much information. I'm sorry).

Aloha stepped back a little bit. "Hang on, Army!" Aloha said, his voice filling with panic. "I'll save you!" I looked at him weakly. Please do, Aloha. I don't want to die. I changed my mind. "Please do...I don't...want to die..." I begged weakly. "Aloha, hurry..." Aloha nodded and he picked me up bridal style. I felt embarrassed but I know I can't do anything about it, because I don't have enough strength in my body. Aloha carried me outside of my room down the stairs and he opened the front door. Once we were outside, he ran down the street to take me to the hospital. I began to feel my eyes close. "No, Army, don't you go to sleep!" Aloha commanded to me. I opened my eyes weakly from this command and I nodded weakly.

We arrived in the hospital. Aloha then yelled. "Nurse!" He yelled. Unfortunately, I blacked out. The last thing I heard was a call of my name and feeling myself on a gurney.


	6. Goodbye Happiness

Silence filled the room besides typical hospital sounds. I woke up from my unconsciousness. I saw Aloha sitting in one of the chairs in the room. I sighed. My suicide attempt failed. Now I'm wondering why Aloha saved me. I did tell him to save me but it feels like I'm slowly having second thoughts. I looked at Aloha, who didn't even notice. "A-Aloha...?" I weakly called out. It seems that Aloha heard my voice, because he raised his head to look at me. He had a concerned look on his face. A very concerned look. No...please...don't waste your time on me, Aloha...

Aloha walked straight to me. "What were you thinking?" Aloha asked to me, his voice filled with concern and anger. Is he actually...mad at me? I flinched slightly from hearing this. "I...I..." I attempted to talk but Aloha cut me off. "You seriously worried the hell out of me right there!" Aloha said as the concern in his voice is replaced with full anger. I flinched as I slowly begin to whimper. He is literally mad. At me. ' _Look at yourself, you idiot._ ' I said in my head. "You could have freaking died!" Aloha said once again. Small tears began to fill my eyes. "I..." I started but I couldn't say anything. Say something, you idiot!

Aloha's anger begins to subside. "Army...if there is something wrong with you, you can tell me..." He said to me. How? How can I tell him about my depression. He wouldn't understand. No one would understand. "I...I can't..." I replied to him. It's the truth. I can't tell him...at least, not yet. Suddenly, I felt Aloha gently grab my left hand and squeezed is gently. "Please, Army...just tell me what's wrong..." Aloha begged to me. I want to tell him, but I can't...

I shook my head. "I...I can't tell you." I replied, making Aloha feel shocked from my answer. "How come?" He replied to me. I wish this wasn't hard. Because this is hard. "I...I just can't!" I said as I choked out a sob. Why is this so hard to explain?! I wish it didn't have to be this way! Aloha noticed the tears falling down my face, messing up the face paint (the black vertical dashes) on my face. Suddenly, I felt a hand caress my left cheek as the fingers are wiping the tears away. I noticed that it was Aloha's hand. "It's fine...I'm sorry for bothering you about it..." I gasped softly at this apology. Does he actually mean that? His words sounded genuine. This is all my fault...

Aloha sighed. "Well...since I saved you..." He started but trailed off. I looked at him, waiting for the rest of his sentence. "...I'm going to take care of you." He finished. No...

No!

I started to shake my head no rapidly. "No! No!" I begged. "Please don't waste your time on me!" Aloha was shocked from my outburst. "Army...I never seen you act like this before..." Aloha said to me. I began to cry. ' _Look at what you done now, you idiot._ ' I said in my head. "Please, Aloha...don't waste your time on me..." I begged weakly. "I don't want to be cared about..." That is not what I wanted to say! Aloha gave me a stern glare. "I'm taking care of you, whether you like it or not." Aloha said sternly. I flinched from this. I knew at that moment that I can't fight back against him.

He wins.

"Fine." I replied as I continued to cry silently. Suddenly, I felt Aloha rest his head against my chest. I flinched from this, but I came to a stop when I found out what Aloha is trying to do to me.

He's trying to comfort me.

I sighed and allowed the comfort. I have two words to say at this point.

Goodbye happiness...


	7. Flying Angel

After 2 days in the hospital following my failed suicide attempt, I was discharged. I went home and Aloha followed me. Once I arrived home, Aloha walks up to me. "Hey, can I ask you something?" He asked to me. I nodded. "Sure." I replied. "What do you need?" His pink eyes met my orange eyes. "Since I'll be taking care of you...I was wondering if...you want to stay at my house until you get better?" Aloha asked to me. I was taken aback at this question.

_Staying...with Aloha...?_

I can stay with him? That means...I can spend more time with him. Or is he doing this just to hurt me? But...it didn't seem like it. It looked like he really wants to help me, despite me telling him not to. i nodded slowly. "Yeah...I guess." I replied with less enthusiasm. Aloha smiled. I guess he noticed me not being happy about it, but he might have chose not to bring it up. "Good." He replied. "I was afraid you were going to reject me." I nodded quietly again.

* * *

Once we reached to Aloha's house, I looked around. His house looked a little bit messy, but I can live with it. Aloha sat on the couch and pat the spot next to him, to which I sat on. "Um...now what?" I asked, not knowing what to do. "Well, it's the afternoon...you wanna go to the mall?" He asked to me. I nodded, agreeing with him. Aloha smiled. "We'll go later then." He said as his voice is filled with excitement. 

To be honest, I love that about him. His excitement. His skills during Turf Wars. His parties. Everything. I just love everything about him. Aloha stared into my orange eyes. Was he lost in my eyes? Or is he thinking something about me? "Um...Aloha?" I asked after he stared at them for 10 straight minutes. Aloha snapped back to reality when he heard my voice. "Oh! Sorry for that, Army!" He apologized with a nervous laughter. I stared at him blankly, but laughed to go along with it. "Anyway, shall we go to the mall?" He asked. I nodded and we left.

* * *

I didn't know what Aloha wanted to do in the mall. The moment we entered in, Aloha started getting giddy. "So! What do you want to do, Army?" He asked to me as his voice is filled with excitement. I looked around the mall. There was many places to go to. Just then, I heard someone laughing. I looked to see Goggles laughing as he held Glasses's hand. Glasses has a massive blue blush on his face. At that moment, I felt bad for Glasses. Maybe Goggles did something stupid that was enough to embarrass him? But I couldn't know for that I was taken to a store by Aloha.

* * *

It was a clothing store we ended up going to. Aloha tried on different outfits, but couldn't pick which ones he wanted to buy. I looked at the selections myself. I then saw a Shirt and Tie. I looked at my clothes. I could use other different clothes instead of my usual typical clothes I wear. I took it and looked at it. It looked like the same shirt Glasses used to wear before switching it to another. I smiled. I'm going to buy this. I then noticed a orange scarf. I decided to touch it gently. It felt...silky. Too silky. Too soft. I took it and decided to buy it as well. I looked at Aloha who decided what he was going to buy. "I see you picked out some clothes, Army!" He said as he smiled. 

I nodded. We went to pay for it. After we paid, we decided to go to the food court since Aloha said he is hungry. We decided to get some hamburgers. As we ate, Aloha talked. "This is sho good!" Aloha said before he began choking. To add insult to injury, he was talking with his mouth full. I grumbled. "This is why you shouldn't talk with your mouth full!" I scolded to him, feeling embarrassed due to some people looking at us. Aloha dranked his drink in order to push the food down his throat. "I'm sorry!" He apologized when he stopped choking. I sighed. What am I ever going to do with this party animal?

* * *

I then heard Inklings cheer. Me and Aloha was confused from this. We saw that they were looking outside. When we looked outside, we noticed that it is snowing. Whoa...

I can watch the snow all day.

I pulled out the orange scarf I bought and wrapped it around my neck. Thank god I have my parka on. I noticed that Aloha didn't bother to bring a jacket or anything to keep him warm. We headed out, apparently Aloha shivered on the way so I had no choice but to wrap parts of my scarf around his neck, making Aloha giggle. I sighed in embarrassment. Once we arrived at Aloha's house, Aloha looked at me. "Hey, Army? There is something I have to tell you." I looked at him. What did Aloha have to tell me? "Yes, Aloha?" I replied. "I...I..." He is stuttering. Whatever he is going to tell me...is it embarrassing? "I...I love you, Army!" Aloha confessed. Wait...

What? He loves me?

Aloha looked at me. "I loved you for a very long time! Every time I see you, I get a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart and I get excited and jumpy." Aloha explained to me even further. "That's when I realized that I love you. So, Army...will you be my boyfriend?" He asked to me. I felt shocked from this. He...he loves me! "Aloha...I..." Instead of responding with words, I hugged him. Aloha hugged me back. We are actually hugging in the snow, but it doesn't matter. "Aloha, I love you as well..." I confessed back. Aloha smiled. "You mean it?" He asked to me. I nodded. "Of course." I replied back to him. Aloha giggled. "Anyway, let's go..." He said but I just kept hugging him. "Can we...stay like this for a few more minutes?" I asked to him. Aloha nodded. "Of course." He replied. "I don't want this to end either." We stayed like this for 5 more minutes until we decided to go inside. It was night time by the time we arrived at Aloha's house.

We unwind and got into our night wear. Aloha didn't mind me sleeping alongside him in his bed. We looked at each other. "Good night, Army." He said. I smiled. "Good night, Aloha."

We drifted off to sleep together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice that Army is showing his sweeter side to Aloha :3


	8. End of Sorrow

I woke up to see that Aloha is still asleep. I sighed. Aloha looks so cute in his sleep. I might as well get up from the bed. I walked to his kitchen and began to find a pan. And no, I'm not going to smack him with the pan if you are going to think that. I'm going to make breakfast. At least...it's best that I can do to repay Aloha for what he's doing really. I decided to make some eggs, cause why not. Once I finished cooking, I noticed Aloha standing there. "Morning, Army." Aloha said and I nodded as a greeting. "You had a good sleep?" I asked to him. Aloha nodded. "Did you?" He asked to me. I stopped for a split second. Of course i didn't, but I'm too scared to admit it. I nodded. "Y-Yeah, I got sleep." I replied. Aloha looked at me, feeling suspicious. But I guess he chose not to mention it. Aloha served himself half of the eggs while I did the same.

After we finished, we lost ourselves in our thoughts. However, Aloha continued to stare at me. I stared back at him. His pink eyes is staring at my orange eyes. My responsibility got the best of me. "Is there something you need?" I asked to him. He snapped out of it. "S-Sorry!" Aloha said. "I didn't mean to space out, Army!" He then laughed nervously. Does he think I'm going to hurt him or something? I didn't know. "Well, you sure are funny, Aloha." I replied to him. Wait...what did I just say right there?

Did I said what I think I said?

I blushed orange. "Y-You didn't hear anything from me!" I yelled. Aloha laughed at me. "You're so cute when you are embarrassed." Aloha said while laughing. I was this close to smacking him, but I held off my urges. Aloha continued laughing. I felt too embarrassed. Suddenly, my heart began to feel pain. As if I felt a thousand rose thorns begin to pierce my heart. Oh no...my...my...depression...

I sighed sadly. "I'm sorry..." I said suddenly. Wait...what am I sorry for? Aloha stopped laughing when he heard it. "What?" Aloha said. "What are you sorry for?" I began to try to hide my deepest secret. "Um...uh..." I knew I have to say something. But I can't find out what to say! "Uh...um..." I began to stutter as I tried to find the right words to say. Aloha's happy look is replaced with a concerned look. "Army?" He asked to me as he is filled with concern. I feel everything pouring out. I can't stop it. I knew at that moment.

I have to tell him about my deepest secret.

I looked at him and grab his hands, making him flinch but he sat there still as he knew what I'm trying to do. "Aloha...about my suicide attempt..." I started. No...

No! Don't tell him yet!

Aloha looked at me, hoping that I will finish my sentence. "About my failed suicide attempt...it was the only way I could think of to get out of this life..." I said. No...No! I don't want to tell him! Not yet! "I...I have depression...I tried to hide it for so long, but I knew that I can't so that's why I'm telling you now...I...I tried to hide it so that no one would see it...but I secretly hoped that someone will know something is not right..." I began to feel tears fall down my face. Why am I telling him this?! I said I didn't want to tell him yet! "A-And I'm g-glad you n-noticed...because I was s-scared that no one will know...!" I began sobbing harshly. Just then, I felt Aloha embrace me.

"It's okay, Army...it's okay..." He said to me. I cried even more as I embraced him back. I don't want him spending anymore time on me...but what's the use of saying that now? We already confessed to each other...

"I-I'm sorry, A-Aloha..." I apologized to him through my sobbing. "It's fine, Army..." He replied to me. "But I can't believe you hid this from everybody...including me...just why, Army?" I shook my head no. "I don't know...I don't know..." I replied to him. We broke apart from the embrace. I sighed as I wiped my tears away. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that..." I apologized to him. Aloha nodded in understanding. "It's fine, Army." He replied to me. I smiled weakly. He smiled weakly back in return.

Let's just say, the rest of the day was normal.


	9. Yoro Walk

Me and Aloha woke up together. When we got out of bed, Aloha kissed my left cheek, which got me to blush orange. "U-Um..." I stuttered. Aloha giggled. "You are too cute when you are blushing." He said to me, only for my blush to grow even more. "S-Shut up!" I said. Aloha snickered before leaving the room. I sighed, wondering why I decided to stay with my party animal. I left the room to see Aloha in the kitchen eating cereal. I can't blame him, I guess. I sighed again as I continued to think about myself. My depression...my self harm...my suicide attempt by overdosing. I actually told Aloha about my depression against will. But I knew that I couldn't hide it much longer.

Aloha looked at me. "Are you okay, Army?" Aloha asked to me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Oh! Sorry..." I apologized, to which Aloha nodded in understanding. After a while, I heard Aloha sigh. "What is it?" I asked, confused. Aloha looked at me. "I was wondering if you want to go to the park." Aloha replied to me. I blushed orange a little bit. "Like taking a walk there." Aloha clarified. I nodded. "Sure, I guess." Aloha smiled at me and he finished eating. Once he put the bowl in the sink, he came up to me, which left me confused. "Aloha?" I asked, only to be hugged by him. I gasped softly as this. "I love you, Army." Aloha said to me. I felt my heart warm up...but hurt at the same time.

I don't know why I'm feeling hurt from those genuine words of comfort. Maybe because I'm worried that Aloha will leave me alone and that he was using me. But I can't tell anymore. I just can't. I hugged him back. "I love you too, Aloha." I replied back to him, feeling my heart feeling even more hurt. I...I want my heart to stop hurting. I don't want my depression getting in the way when I'm happy with him. We broke apart once our responsibilities got the best of us.

* * *

It is now the afternoon. Me and Aloha decided to go to the park in the afternoon. Once we were ready, we left Aloha's house to go to the park. Once arriving, we look around. The green grass is very fine here. The sky is blue with normal white fluffy clouds and the glowing sun. Aloha looked at me. "Well?" He asked. I snapped out of my thoughts. "Oh...sorry." I replied. Aloha nodded in understanding. We began to walk down a path. As we walked, we walked to Goggles and Glasses. "Hey, guys!" Goggles greeted. Aloha waved as a greeting. "H-How are g-guys doing?" Glasses asked to us as he is blushing blue out of embarrassment. "We are good. We are just taking a walk on the park. You?" Aloha replied to Glasses's question with happiness. "It's t-the same for m-me and Goggles." Glasses replied to him, still embarrassed. Goggles looked at me. "And what about you, Army?" He replied to me. I blushed orange out of embarrassment.

I don't know what to say. "I...I decided to go with him." I replied with embarrassment in my voice. "Cool!" Goggles replied, oblivious to the embarrassment in my voice. I sighed in relief. I noticed that Goggles and Glasses are holding hands. Did they become a couple? "Oh yeah, we became a couple yesterday!" Goggles said, which I can see that caused Glasses to hide his face with his hands as his blue blush grew more dark.

He is really embarrassed now. Just like me.

Aloha's face light up with happiness. "That's great to hear!" Aloha said. "I know, right?" Goggles replied to him with the same happiness.

Aloha and Goggles talked for a while. Me and Glasses listened to the entire conversation. While Aloha and Goggles was talking, I heard Aloha tell him that me and him are a couple, to which Goggles did a loud squeal out of happiness, which embarrassed me and Glasses further.

Once Goggles and Glasses left, Aloha looked at me. "Shall we continue the walk?" Aloha asked to me. I nodded. "Yes, please." I replied, hoping that the walk will help me get out of my thoughts.

* * *

Once we arrived home, we did normal stuff. Me cooking, us eating dinner, talking, and all that. Once we got into out nightwear, we got in the bed. After saying good night and 'I love you' to each other, we fell asleep.


	10. Calm

It is the same morning routine. Waking up, saying 'Good Morning' to each other, me making breakfast, and us eating together. Aloha looked at me as we ate our breakfast. I noticed him looking at me. "What?" I replied, sort of embarrassed thst he is looking at me eat. Aloha smiled. "Nothing." He replied before going back to eating. I sighed and went back to eating as well.

* * *

Aloha kissed me suddenly in the lips. My eyes widened at this but I kissed back. I felt our tongues meet and we fall on the couch. Wait...are we actually french kissing? Holy crap...this is not happening right now. I can feel Aloha wrapping his arms around my neck. I wrapped my arms around his waist. We broke apart. "Sorry for that..." Aloha apologized. "Don't be." I replied as a smile began to appear on my face. This...this is a time where my depression is not coming in. I hope it stays like that. "In fact, it was great." I said, finishing my sentence. Aloha smiled and kissed me again. I kissed back as the kiss got deeper.

We broke apart for air and we looked into each other's eyes. Aloha's pink eyes meeting my orange eyes. Our eyes continued to stare at each other. Suddenly, Aloha kissed me again. I kissed back. The kiss, however, got intimate. I felt Aloha l's hands running through my hair tentacles when he pushed the beret off my head as I continued to kiss him. I continued to kiss him. We broke apart. "Sorry about that." Aloha apologized to me. "It's fine." I replied back as we smiled to each other. I picked up my beret and we left.

* * *

We met up with Mask and Skull. Of course, Aloha blurted out that we are dating. "That is cool, Alohaaaaa." Mask said. We couldn't tell his facial expression because of his mask. "Congrats." Skull said, happy about our relationship. I blushed orange out of embarrassment but I nodded. Aloha giggled and he hugged me. I hugged him back. "Anyway, let's go eat, pleaseeeeee." Mask said, to which we nodded in agreement.

* * *

Once we arrived at a restaurant, we saw Prince and Emperor eating. They are brothers, so at least I didn't get the wrong idea. We also saw the Blue Team. They talked as they ate. Us S4 ate our orders, which were typically hamburgers. Aloha looked at me and I looked back. "What?" I asked. Aloha smiled. "You look cute when you are eating." I ended up choking as I coughed. Mask and Skull looked like they were trying to suppress their laughter. Once I drinked my drink, I looked at him. "S-Shut up!" I scolded to him out of embarrassment. Aloha laughed. Without the other S4 members knowing, I was also doing my best to suppress my laughter as well.

* * *

We were walking home from the restaurant. Once we got back inside, Aloha literally jumped on me. "Whoa!" I yelled out as we impacted the ground by falling on it. Aloha kissed me deeply. I kissed back. Why do I feel so calm about this now? I have no idea. I'm not feeling sad. Seeing and feeling Aloha around me...it soothes me. I felt Aloha pull away. "I love you so much, Army." He said to me as he blushed pink. I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. "I love you too, Aloha." I replied. Suddenly, Aloha let out a quiet moan. I was confused from this. I looked to see...

I blushed a massive orange.

One of my hands is literally...

Touching his butt...

Aloha looked at me. "Army, I'm yours." Aloha said to me without hesitating. Wait...am I hearing this correctly? Does he want me to do it...on him? "Aloha, are you sure?" I asked, to which Aloha nodded to. "Yes...please...!" He started begging to me. I never seen Aloha like this. I nodded and I carried him to his room.

Once arriving, I laid him on the bed and began kissing his lips. Aloha kissed back with all the love he has for me. I moved my lips from his mouth to his neck as I began to kiss it. He moaned quietly and he removed my parka as I began to unbutton his shirt.

We couldn't hold ourselves back in that night.


	11. Little Star

The next morning came witht the glowing sun. Me and Aloha woke up. I realized what we did last night. We literally...had sex. We looked at each other. "Morning, love." I said to Aloha and he giggled at what I said to him. "Morning, my sweet love." Aloha replied. I blushed orange at this. But I accepted the compliment. Me and Aloha laughed and we got ready together. As we head to the kitchen, I felt Aloha kiss my left cheek. I laughed gently at that. But I wonder why Aloha is giving me affection when I don't deserve. I sighed. I don't want to think negative right now. I'm with the one I love. My sweet party animal. I want to be with him forever.

I just hope my depression doesn't get in the way.

* * *

Me and Aloha looked at each other. We have been staring at each other for 10 minutes now. We couldn't take our eyes off of each other. His pink eyes are filled with love that he is willing to give to me. My orange eyes are filled with concern...insecurity. But I know that I'm willing to give him my love as well. "I love you, Army." Aloha said to me with voice filled with love and he rested his head onto my left shoulder. I smiled at him. This is the happiest moment of my life. It's like I'm no longer feeling sad.

It feels like Aloha saved me from my sadness.

"I love you too, Aloha." I replied with the same amount of love in my voice that was in his voice. I feel so happy. Aloha...

He is my everything. We looked at each other again. We smiled and we kissed each other's lips. After 9 minutes of kissing, we pulled apart. "I don't want to lose you..." Aloha said to me as his face began to fill with sadness. My happy face turned into a concerned face. "Promise me you won't end you life. Promise me that you won't leave me alone. Promise me, please..." Aloha begged to me as I notice small tears coming into his eyes. He really is afraid of losing me. I don't want to lose him either. "I promise as long as you promise to never leave me alone." I replied to him as I felt tears coming into my eyes. A soft sob escaped Aloha's mouth. "I promise." With that, he embraced me as he began crying softly. I hugged him back while I also began to cry softly. To be honest, our lives didn't seem to be fair.

I kissed Aloha in the lips and he kissed back almost immediately. 

It went normal for the rest of the day. I know one thing.

I love Aloha and he loves me 

* * *

Night time has arriced and we are already in the bed. Aloha hugged me tightly, as if he was afraid of letting me go. "Good night, Army..." Aloha said, his voice calm a litttle. "Good night, Aloha..." I replied ans we both fell asleep.


	12. Listen To My Heart

During the night, I began to hear moans. "Oh, Army..." Aloha moaned while we were sleeping. I looked to see thst he was having a wet dream. Oh...my...

"Oh...Army, yes!" Aloha moaned. He really is having a wet dream about me. I sighed. If he really wants his dream to come true, then I'm willing to make that dream come true. I gently touched his length through his shorts, causing him to moan. He woke up to see me. "A-Army! You didn't hear-" I cut him off before he could say anything else. "Oh, I heard all of it." I then kissed Aloha's neck as I began to remove his shorts, which caused moans to escape his mouth.

We couldn't hold ourselves back.

* * *

When it reached morning, we decided to go out for an actual date once it reaches night time. "Well, I'm excited for our date tonight." Aloha said and he smiled sweetly. God, I can't resist the damn cute smile. "You are so cute when you smile like that." i said. I noticed something. My depression has not been acting up. Could this be a sign that I'm happy forever? I have no idea...I hope my depression doesn't come again. As long as Aloha is with me...I don't feel depressed. I feel...safe. Aloha giggled and pulled me into a hug. I can't push him away. I hugged him back in return. He is just too cute.

"Anyway, I guess we can do stuff normally." Aloha said to me as he is still smiling sweetly. I nodded in agreement. "Yeah." I replied. Aloha snuggled against me. I didn't mind it to be honest. As long as I'm with him, I feel like nothing doesn't matter. It feels like he understands all of my problems. I'm glad my depression has not been making me act up lately. I think it doesn't act up when I'm around Aloha. It's like Aloha is the wind to blow away the storms in my head. Just then, I felt Aloha kiss my lips. I kissed back.

* * *

When it reached night time, we left Aloha's house. As we walked, Gloves came up. "Hey, guys!" Gloves greeted to us. I waved as a greeting. It was the best I can do. "Hey, Gloves!" Aloha greeted back. Gloves noticed something. "Why are you guys holding hands?" Gloves asked out of curiosity. Wait...

What?

I looked to see that we actually are holding hands. I blushed orange and Aloha blushed pink. We are so embarrassed. Should we lie or tell the truth? "Me and Army are..." Aloha started but trailed off. I guess we are going to tell the truth. "Me and Aloha are dating..." I replied, still blushing orange. Aloha nodded. "Wow..." Gloves said, surprised from what I said. "Well, congrats!" Gloves smiled. Me and Aloha smiled nervously from Gloves's reaction.

Me and Aloha arrived at a restaurant and ate there.

It was the best we could do for our lovely date.

* * *

I looked at Aloha. He was smiling. Then again, we did had a good time. Once we arrived at Aloha's house, Aloha immediately stopped. I noticed Aloha's smile has faded away. "Aloha? Are you okay?" I asked to him, concern for him. Maybe he is not feeling well from the restaurant? "Army...why?" Aloha said, which I was taken aback from. "W-What?" I replied to him, now confused from his question. "Why did you decide to go with me? To fall in love with me when there are people thst is better than me?" Aloha asked to me, his voice cracking. I can see his shoulders moving up and down slowly. In addition, I saw tears falling down his face.

He's crying.

I sighed. I might as well confess something that I was hiding from him. And no, it's not my depression. He knows about that now. "Listen to my heart..." I replied. "Aloha, the reason I fell for you because everything about you was amazing. You...your team...everything. I like how the way you fight and help others. Especially the way you try to cheer people." As I was explaining, Aloha looked at me. I can see his eyes beginning to fill with happiness. "Especially you...you are filled with kindness...so much kindness." I finished what I said. Aloha stopped crying as he stared at me. He hugged me. I hugged him back in return.

An idea hits my head.

I picked Aloha up bridal style, which caused him to giggle. We entered his house and inside his room. Once I placed him on the bed, I kissed his lips. He kissed back. Aloha pulled back for air after t minutes. "Do me...I need you so bad..." Aloha said and I grinned. 

Let's just say, we had a good time.


	13. Stay Strong

Normal waking up. Normal morning routine. However, I have not been feeling like myself lately. It seemed that Aloha noticed it. "Is something the matter, Army?" Aloha asked to me, concerned. Due to me not being myself lately, I have been very quiet when we got up. "Hm? Oh, I'm fine..." I replied, hoping that Aloha won't ask me more about it. Aloha looked at me suspiciously before going back to his routine. I quietly sighed in relief. I didn't want him to worry about me.

I just didn't.

I decided that I would go back home after a few days. I can't stay with Aloha forever. Not in a break up way. I can't stay in Aloha's house forever. I just can't. I have no idea why I can't stay in Aloha's house.

I just...don't...

I sighed. I want to tell Aloha that I can't stay with him forever but I just can't. If I did, Aloha would think that I'm breaking up with him. And that if he thinks that, then he will feel heartbroken and he would probably suffer depression...like me...

I don't want that. I just don't.

I began to feel an urge to cry right in front of Aloha. But how can I? I just wish I had the courage to tell him about my feelings of staying with him. I guess there is no point in doing so. I know what to do.

I need to stay strong.

Stay strong, Army...

Just stay strong...

I decided that I will have a normal day with Aloha. I kissed Aloha's cheek and he giggled. It was the best I can do to hide my inner thoughts, despite the fact that my inner thoughts will come pouring out like a waterfall once a certain point is reached. "What to do...What to do..." I mumbled this to myself. I unrolled my sleeves, which reveals my cuts I did in the past. When I heard Aloha moving, I rolled my sleeves back down. "Hey, Army? Have you decided what you want to do today?" Aloha asked to me.

I really haven't, to be honest.

"N-No. I haven't. Have you?" I replied to him. Aloha shook his head no. "Well, do you just want to relax here?" I asked to him. He nodded. "Yeah, sure." Aloha said and rested his head against my chest. I sighed as my tears almost came out, but I managed to wipe them away.

I can't cry...not now...

Not in front of Aloha...

All I have to do...

Is to stay strong...


	14. Another Life

I sighed. I feel like I can't do anything anymore. I don't know why. As I looked around, I felt my stomach rumble. Argh, I'm hungry. But I don't want to eat anything.

Did you know that depression affects your appetite as well? Well, now you do. I sighed. I guess I can't resist. I went to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator. There was still some food left. I don't want to take too much of it. I decided to grab a container filled with curry before closing it. I reheated it and ate it.

I hope Aloha doesn't mind...

I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around and felt Aloha hugging me. I was caught off guard but I hugged him in return. "How are you feeling?" Aloha asked me, to which I nodded. "I'm feeling fine, Aloha." I replied.

No.

I wasn't feeling fine at all.

Why did I tell that to him? I didn't mean to lie...

Aloha nodded and he snuggled against me. "I'm just glad you are okay." Aloha replied and I nodded in return. I love him just like how much he loves me. When he is around me...I feel safe. But why do I still feel sad? I looked around. Why do I feel sad? I should be happy.

I sighed. I looked and saw that Aloha has fell asleep. I sighed quietly. He was tired anyway. He shouldn't be wasting his energy on me. He really shouldn't. I sighed quietly as I knew that I wasn't going anywhere. My party animal was sleeping next to me. In addition, he is hugging me.

I allowed it anyway. Because I knew that he wanted to be with me. I sighed quietly and looked at the ceiling. Is my life really worth to him? "Do I really worth something to you, Aloha...?" I spoke quietly, almost a whisper.

My voice is weak. I'm so weak.

I sighed quietly before I felt my body entering slumber too.

* * *

"No...Army..."

I woke up to hearing Aloha's voice after 30 minutes of sleeping. I turned to see Aloha shaking in his sleep. Is he having a nightmare like I would usually have? "Army...don't leave me..." Aloha mumbled quietly in his sleep.

No...he is having a nightmare.

I held him closer as I saw small tears entering his eyes. "It's okay...I'm here..." I mumbled quietly to his ear. I don't know if he heard me or not. I hope he did. But then I realized something.

I can't promise that.

I really can't. What if I do die? If I die, would anyone miss me? I doubt it. My depression always keeps getting in the way. I sigh quietly as I chose not to say anything else. I wanted to tell Aloha that I was wrong. I don't want him to suffer because of me. I really don't.

I began crying very silently as I held him more closer. I felt Aloha's grip tighten a little as it felt like his nightmare came back. But I will try my best to live.

* * *

_"Ahahahahaha!"_

_A laugh escaped my mouth. It feels like a happy dream. I saw Aloha in a white tuxedo as we shared a dance. It felt like a wedding, which in fact, it is. We both also felt happy._

_It felt like this was another life here. A life that is so different from the current one. It felt like I was truly loved by Aloha. "I love you, Army." I heard Aloha's voice say to me. To think that I fell in love with a party animal like him..._

_I have no regrets._

_"I love you too, Aloha."_

* * *

I woke up slowly. Why did I wake up...? I didn't want to wake up from the best dream I had. I sighed quietly and looked at Aloha. He was still sleeping. That's good to see. I held him closer as I decided to go back to sleep.


End file.
